Happy #LGBTSTEMday to queer and trans people in STEM! And it’s also #TransAwarenessWeek which is dedicated to raising visibility, educating and addressing barriers faced by the entire transgender community. I prefer to talk about trans awareness here because this affects all aspects of my personal and STEM professional lives.
For many trans people, raising awareness means reliving past and present trauma. It means drawing attention to ourselves which increases the risk to our personal safety. It reminds us of the barriers we face every day just to live the way most people take for granted. We think of the abuse, harassment, and the times we felt ignored, undervalued and unappreciated by our family, friends and co-workers. That we have to work so much harder to get to the same place. That how we look, what we wear and how we sound and act are constantly scrutinized and held to unrealistic cis expectations of gender binary. Every day is a struggle for our identity and existence, and a fight for basic human rights. These problems are amplified in STEM because trans representation is almost zero.
I have been yelled at a few times in public washrooms. I have been groped by a complete stranger in front of a room full of people to be made fun of. I have been misgendered "Sir. Ma'am. Whatever" was the last time in front of a lineup in a grocery store. Despite having my name, I am routinely "sir'ed" over the phone. I have been disowned by my parents who call me an abomination. I have had slurs shouted at me, been spat on, called "it" and "freak". I have been told I am not a real woman. I get stared at and see the gaze go from chest to crotch. Most days I will question my safety somewhere.
I don't hide, I am out and seen. I speak up and out. I advocate. I champaign. I educate. It's an emotional labour. It's hard. I don't do it for me, I do it for those that need change to happen, those that are in an earlier part of their journey, for children and youth stuck in hostile home environments, for those struggling thinking they are alone and questioning if they are the only one. I am there for the terrified, walk with the scared, steady the stumbling and lift the falling.
As I prepare to speak at #TransDayOfRemembrance #TDoR, I am acutely aware of how much has changed in fifty years, how far I have come, that at 55 I am still alive to do what I do. But I am also acutely aware of how much hasn't changed. As I reflect on the 462 reported deaths of trans people this last year I am also acutely aware of the many more that aren't acknowledged, those that are reported by their deadname or birth gender, the many more that take their own lives taking their 'secret' with them and the many many more that routinely face abuses. And just for trying live as our authentic selves.
I often here local people say "That can't happen here!". Yes it does. This year I am dedicating #TDoR to Sam, a transman that died last month alone in a hotel room supplied by a local housing agency and not found for two weeks. He had no one to check up on him and no one that came looking for him. His death has largely gone unreported and unnoticed. He deserved better.
If it is like this for me, someone with a lot of privilege both personally and professionally, just think about how it must be for others. Please educate yourself. Not just this week but every week. Support trans people and stand up for them. And before the week is over check in on your trans friends, family and co-workers to make sure they’re ok. They need you now more than ever.
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